Today we’re tackling the question that still floats around changing rooms, group chats and the odd awkward pub silence: why do some straight blokes get twitchy about being naked around gay guys?
Let’s get the obvious out of the way first: the vast majority of the time, nothing happens. Nobody’s checking you out, nobody’s making a move, and the only thing pointing at you is probably a wasp that fancies your beer. But feelings are feelings, so let’s have an honest chat about where the nerves come from and why – after ten minutes in a proper naturist setting – they usually vanish.
The fear in one sentence
“I don’t want to be looked at sexually by another bloke.”Fair enough. None of us do (gay, straight or anywhere in between). The difference is gay lads have spent their whole lives learning to be discreet in mixed settings because they have to be. Straight lads rarely have that practice, so when we imagine “being looked at,” we picture the worst-case cartoon version: obvious staring, comments, the lot.Reality at any decent naturist beach, club or spa? Exactly the same rules gay guys have always lived by: quick polite glance, eyes up, carry on with your day. The same etiquette you expect from women on a mixed beach is the etiquette you get from gay men in a naturist space. Simple.
What actually happens (from someone who’s been going to mixed events for years)
- Most gay guys are there for the same reason you are: sun, freedom, chat, swim, pint.
- The ones who are single and looking are still polite about it – a smile and a “nice day, isn’t it?” at most. Rejection is taken with a nod and zero drama, because they’ve been doing it since school.
- Creeps exist in every demographic (straight creeps are honestly more common at some “textile” beaches), but proper naturist venues police behaviour hard. One dodgy vibe and they’re gone, sexuality irrelevant.
The funny double standard
Straight lads will happily watch porn where two women get together and call it “hot.” Stick two blokes in the same scene and suddenly it’s “weird.” We’ve been trained to see male-male contact as automatically sexual and therefore threatening, while female-female contact gets a free pass. That’s not logic, that’s just cultural baggage.Naturism strips that baggage away (literally). When everyone’s naked all day, you quickly you realise bodies are just bodies. A gay bloke seeing your arse isn’t automatically fancying it any more than you fancy every woman you see on Brighton beach.
Real talk from the coalface
I’ve played naked cricket with teams that were 50/50 gay and straight. I’ve shared a hot tub in a few times with gay mates at the spa. I’ve fallen asleep on a sun-lounger next to a gay couple and woken up to them asking if I want a cold water. Nothing has ever happened beyond normal bloke chat, because decent people are decent people.The only time it’s ever felt slightly odd? When a straight lad couldn’t stop talking about how he’s “not gay but…” every five minutes. Ironically, he was the one making it weird.
How to get over the hump (if you’ve got one)
- Pick a well-run venue first time (British Naturism events, Clover Spa, etc.). The staff keep an eye out and the crowd self-polices.
- Remember: gay guys aren’t a monolith any more than straight guys are. Some fancy bears, some fancy twinks, some are in relationships, most just want a tan.
- If someone does check you out? Take it as a compliment and move on. You’ve been checked out by women you’re not into – same rules apply.
Bottom line: your sexuality doesn’t change in the buff, and neither does anyone else’s. We’re all just hairy, sunburn-prone apes trying to enjoy a bit of vitamin D without soggy pants.So if you’re a straight lad reading this and still feeling nervous – totally normal. But give it one go at a proper place. Nine times out of ten you’ll leave thinking, “That was it? I’ve spent years worrying about nothing.”Now then, the sun’s moved round the garden again and my bum’s gone cold. Time to shuffle the sun-lounger.Stay bare, stay sound, and don’t let daft hang-ups steal your freedom.